One day, I was taking a train. I got on at one of those little milk run stops between two cities. It was one of those little stops where you bought your ticket at the station before you boarded.
Once on the train, after a few minutes, I could hear a man coming up the aisle, calling out “Tickets please, tickets.”
He was an older gentleman with white hair and a pleasant demeanour. He, of course, looked very official in his deep blue and red suit and conductor’s cap.
By the look of him, you could imagine that he had done that walk up the train aisles hundreds, if not thousands, of times.
When he got to me, he asked me how I was. “Fine, thank you,” I said, a rather standard response that doesn’t really tell anyone how you are.
I said, “How are YOU doing today? He answered”, Oh, I have my moments.”
I’m not sure why this rather unusual response has stuck with me all these years. But I remember thinking at the time, “What a great response”.
It seemed to say that there were some occasional highlights in his day and that was good enough for him.
He seemed happy and content.
Have you ever done any of the following?
· Said to someone “Let’s do lunch” and never set it up?
· Promised to have something done by a certain time but didn’t meet the deadline?
· Said you’d take a look at something for a colleague but never got around to it?
I know I have and I know I am not alone.
Since the New Year is upon us I have been thinking about things I would like to be better at, and this intrigues me.
It intrigues me because not fulfilling promises like these chips away at trust.
Not fulfilling promises chips away at our personal brand.
I once made someone cry because of the feedback I gave them.
I didn't mean to, of course. But it happened.
I spent many years pursuing my dream of becoming a professional percussionist, wanting to play in an orchestra or any ensemble, for that matter, that would pay me to hit a drum. And while there was a bit of a transition period between being the student and becoming a pro, one day I was there. I, dressed in my second-hand tuxedo, was being hired and making a living (albeit meagre) as a freelance player in the big smoke.
Shortly after that, I found myself no longer the student but the teacher when I applied for and got hired by the Royal Conservatory of Music as a percussion instructor.
And while my playing resume was not too shabby by then, my teaching experience was limited and no one had ever talked to me about how to give good feedback to my students.
All I had was what I had experienced myself, the way I had been taught, the good and the bad.
I left the Conservatory a few years ago after having given feedback in over 15,000 private lessons and in some 2000 rehearsals.
While I did make someone cry once (ok maybe twice), I did figure out a few things about getting people to really want the feedback you have to offer.
About 2% of the population is considered “gifted”. We don’t hear this term as much when referring to adults. Instead we hear odd, eccentric, weird.
And while their numbers are small, I am sure you have come across someone who could be described this way.
If you happen to be their boss, you know they test you like no one else.
If you happen to be their colleague, you know that they can amaze, bewilder and, possibly, annoy you.
At your first meeting, you knew there was something different about them. It could be that they dressed without concern for convention. It could be that when they talked, it seemed they had ingested the whole Internet. Perhaps they didn’t like to talk and they always seemed sullen and removed until it was “ShowTime”.
And then, when you saw their work, you were amazed and all was pretty much forgiven because they were just so darn good at what they do.
While their competence may help your company’s bottom line results, it doesn’t necessarily help your day-to-day because you still have to figure out how to work with eccentric superstar employees.
The trouble with office parties is that they are a bit like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Looking at it from the outside, you see a group of people who, for the most part, are pretty familiar with each other, a group of people who may spend more time together than they do with their families.
Yet this familiarity can lead to a false sense of security.
It may lead people to believe they can really let their hair down like they would with a bunch of close friends on a trip to Vegas.
The Holiday office party is not the same as going to Vegas with friends.
It's an event where you have to be a pro and here's why...
Here’s an interesting statistic: According to a study done by PwC, CEO turnover at the 2500 largest companies in the world rose from 14.3 in 2014 to 16.6% in 2015 – a record high.
And it’s happened to all of us at some point. You’re just going about your business doing your job like you do every day and in comes a new boss.
You might not know this person or it might be someone who you knew was shortlisted but workplace conversation turns quickly to “hey, what do you know about the new boss?”
Very rarely does a new boss come in and continue the status quo. New bosses have new ideas and often want to make their mark.
For some this is a breath of fresh air; for others it causes fear and anxiety.
So how will you react? How will you deal with the change coming down the pipe?
A lot depends on what type of person you are, or more to the point, what type of person you choose to be.