workplace conflict

How to be a better leader and eliminate workplace cliques.

How to be a better leader and eliminate workplace cliques.

Last year, my 9-year-old daughter, who is a pretty tough cookie, was reduced to tears by a clique that turned against her.

In less than 24 hours, this group of kids, whom she considered friends, had her wanting to quit her hockey team and never play again.

They did this by using only words and silence (a.k.a - the cold shoulder).

I’d never seen anything like it. Or so I thought - more on that later.  Yes, yes… apparently being a man does not help me here.

There’s more to the story that I can get into now, but we managed to get to the bottom of it and got some “I’m sorry’s” flowing.  We got her to the rink just before the puck drop for a “big” playoff game but it was too late.

Too late, because even the kids who weren’t involved knew something was just not right that day.

The team played horribly and lost badly. It was their worst game of the season. It cost them the chance to move on.

This prompted a lot of discussion among the parents. Some of us (maybe it was just me) realized we were oblivious to the cliques on the team and how they were inhibiting its success. 

To be fair, I think some people were aware, but I don’t think any of us (parents or team leaders) were doing anything to mitigate these naturally forming sub groups on the team. And that wasn’t good.

Here’s the thing about sub-groups.  They happen everywhere people get together. They’re part of kids’ hockey teams and they’re part of where you work.

Cliques are not relegated to kids’ sports teams or the playgrounds of our youth.  They can materialize anyplace you have groups of people who see each other frequently.

If you’re a workplace leader (manager, boss, etc), it’s your job to set things up so that everyone on the team can do the best work they can.

I’m not saying it’s easy but you’ve got to do it, or else…

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When you have a colleague who always plays "more cowbell".

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When you have a colleague who always plays "more cowbell".

Perhaps you are familiar with the famous Will Farrell and Christopher Walken skit from Saturday Night Live where Farrell plays the cowbell along with the “band” Blue Oyster Cult. In case you‘re not, you have to see it. Just Google - "more cowbell".   

In this skit, he dominates the recording session by playing his cowbell louder than any of the other instruments (encouraged by the producer). As he does this, he annoys his band mates more and more with each take. Finally things come to a head and tempers flare, but in the end the band members resolve their differences. Farrell is allowed to continue his very over-the-top cowbell playing only because the producer wants – “more cowbell!”

This is a very funny skit, but what about in the real world? What happens when you have someone at work who is, shall we say, “insensitive” to the point of annoyance to others?  

I think we have all experienced someone like that. Often it doesn’t end so nicely.  Like in the video, this can cause a lot of tension, which usually leads to some animosity or dispute. 

Pointing out annoying behaviour to a colleague is very difficult to do. 

But it has to be done and here’s why: