I once made someone cry because of the feedback I gave them. 

I didn't mean to, of course. But it happened. 

I spent many years pursuing my dream of becoming a professional percussionist, wanting to play in an orchestra or any ensemble, for that matter, that would pay me to hit a drum. And while there was a bit of a transition period between being the student and becoming a pro, one day I was there.  I, dressed in my second-hand tuxedo, was being hired and making a living (albeit meagre) as a freelance player in the big smoke. 

Shortly after that, I found myself no longer the student but the teacher when I applied for and got hired by the Royal Conservatory of Music as a percussion instructor. 

And while my playing resume was not too shabby by then, my teaching experience was limited and no one had ever talked to me about how to give good feedback to my students.

All I had was what I had experienced myself, the way I had been taught, the good and the bad. 

I left the Conservatory a few years ago after having given feedback in over 15,000 private lessons and in some 2000 rehearsals. 

While I did make someone cry once (ok maybe twice), I did figure out a few things about getting people to really want the feedback you have to offer.